Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Capo di Capo Westminster rumble

Every week leading Capos of three Families come together in Westminster car park to yell insults at each other. We no like this tradition much as Liberali family always look little small against large packs of Labouristi and Conservatori. However all respect no violence tradition in confines of car park, so we know we safe.

All last month Don Brown been dropping hints that he going to start big rumble in the Territories. But now he back-down, shoulders little more stooped, smug grin not to big, and Labouristi not looking so clever.

"Is this the mighty Don Brown" yell Don Cameron "I'd heard the most fearsome Don in the Territories was going to be here tonight, but all I can see is Jimmie Krankie's dwarf brother and his gang of hermaphrodite groin lice. Is this the first man of honour in history to call off a rumble because he thought he'd get his suit creased?"

"I don't believe I need to dignify the ravings of a moon-faced cross-dressing show-girl with a response" respond Don Brown "Clearly the public have no appetite for war in this unprecedented era of peace under my leadership. Only last year you were the ma... half-man who promised to end the tired era of puppet-show punch-ups, yet this is yo..."

At this moment he is drowned out by Conservatori backing choir singing chorus of "Pack up your spine in your old kit bag and scowl, Gordy, scowl"

I nudge Don Campbell. "Go on Don, kick him when he down".

"Patience, Liberali, patience" say Don Campbell, "My cravat is not quite straight"

"And another thing" yell Don Cameron "when's he going to keep his promise to allow us all to wet our beaks on the changes to the great Euro-scam. He says it's not the same grift. It's as though Don Blair had never left." Colleague chip in "Show us your big clunking fist Gordina"

Don Brown turning distinctly crimson coloured, Signora Blears is hopping up and down like angry hamster with bladder problem.

"Would you both mind terribly not stealing our best swindles... please" say quiet voice of authority.

"Piss off baldy" hiss Signor 'bulging' Balls from nearby.

'Three cheers for Don Campbell' we all say as one. Then we all piss off. I not like this silly tradition much.

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