Monday 22 October 2007

Save our local Badgers

We big problem today that distract attention from amicable big fun process to choose new Don of Liberali Family. Turn out Labouristi get wise to scam we running to ferry essential pharmaceutical products to deprived rural communities.

Initially scam seem like really good idea. I out with Capo 'Jolly' Roger Williams in Little Sicily one day enjoying selling his organic apple moonshine he bring in from Llandrindod Wells. I not remember much about that day but at some point we get to talking about risks of smuggling various things past Untouchables and what to do about it.

Lot of stray animals in Little Sicily, result of dog-fighting breeding programme gone wrong, so at some point we end up experimenting tying little parcels underneath them see if we can train them to deliver. It not work bad. Particularly pleased when they respond to commands to bite nosey men in uniform who get too curious.

Jolly though say to me:

"Liberali, we don't have so many dogs in RaddyBrek, but we sure got lot of badgers. I've been training them to deliver my Focus Threats for years... strikes me that while it's unaffordable to send cugine to sell special Family products to isolated rural villages and farmers, the badger-express could be just the ticket..."

So anyway rest history. We nearly thought game up four years ago when former top Labouristi enforcer in Wales Ron Davies reported to be watching for our badgers in motorway layby we sometimes used for reloading the parcels.

Happily it turn out he just cruising for rough sex with strangers.

Although sure gave some of boys a shock when the explanation offered for their own presence in layby - 'looking to strap a package on a badger', elicited quite an unexpected response from Signor Davies.

Anyhow now turn out that side-effect of national network of 'Liberali badger-express rural relief programme' appear to have infected half of cattle in Territories with TB, so public-spirited Labouristi currently considering auctioning rights to deal with problem to the assorted badger haters in the National Union of Mammal-Stranglers.

It not help much that old Capo for RaddyBrek Signor Livesey, now residing in Old Don's Home greet news by grabbing baseball bat and cheering "Let me at the stripy-rat buggers, I'll give'em what for, what"... but otherwise we united.

Besides I have great idea, we going to train badgers to vaccinate cattle, we call it National Badger Service Direct. That no work, well there always ferrets.

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