Thursday, 26 July 2007

The Magisterium Committee

A good week of fund-raising for the Family, we been busy selling flood protection insurance to the residents of Hampstead Hill.

However, I attend secret meeting tonight. The Committee for the Assassination of the Magisterium is body that plan the elimination of evil Labouristi leader in the London territories, Signor Livingstone. Livingstone is well protected, with vicious reputation for dealing with opponents, so we struggle to find button-man.

Last one we send, Signor Hughes, have lucky escape when bomb under yellow taxi miss him by seconds due to length of time he stand on pavement talking to local paisan about history of post offices. Time before that, Signora Kramer tried to train her cat Whittington to do the job. She hadn't though counted on Livingstone's protection ring of killer newts. One feline is no match for fifty small lizards with vicious nibbles.

This time Signor Brake, Capo of our Carwashington chapter been hunting round for overseas contract killer. It brilliant plan. Signor Livingstone spend lot of time trying to build coalitions with overseas crime families, like Castro-cartel in Cuba and Qatari Mujahideen. An emissary from one of his former allies might be able to get close enough to finish him off.

Search though still ongoing. Amazing how many top international killers appear to be busy with sniper training courses or ninja reunions when nature of job explained.

Conservatoris we understand have entrusted same task to Floppy-Golightly, the Henley Romeo, who favourite disguise is that of oafish buffoon. A mask he wear so effectively at times, that he marked for death should he ever renter territory of Litttlepool. Not wise to walk into middle of football pitch during minute's silence for hostage and accuse entire crowd of being soft.

We though need volunteer for Livingstone job, before worrying about whether to give Floppy's home address to the 'Friends of Anfield'. I be monitoring our progress with interest.

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