Monday, 14 January 2008

Signor Paddick lay down law

Signor Davey accompany me to have serious chat with Signor Paddick today.

"Signor Paddick, when we chose you to assassinate the Magisterium we did, if you recall explain to you some of the facts of the Family business."

Signor Paddick nod vigorously. "Is there a problem gentleman, nice suit by the way Ed, grey is definitely you."

"Problem... problem... well there is the small matter of your announcement today that you'd like to cut crime."

"Mmmm... yes?" I detect something of glassy-look in eyes. It look Signora Liberali tell me I have often when concentrating really hard on what she saying.

"Cutting crime Paddick, Family business... Family business, cutting crime... are you seeing the problem here?"

"Mmmm... I'm going to have to say no there Edward... would you like a Lambeth macaroon incidentally, they've got a smashing jammy bit in the middle..."

Signor Davey give strangled cry has hands start doing that clenching/unclenching thing I only see him do after talking to old Don Campbell. As he seem to be losing power to speak, I decide to be helpful

"You see, Brian, thing about Family business is, it mostly not very legal. Surprised you not know that, being an enforcer for 30 years. Although that does kind of explain why Lambeth Liberali faction have major boom time in puffy-puff trade when you running the show there."

"Oh isn't your memory just adorable" he say, connecting his knee with my midriff in surprisingly fast move, that leave me deciding to keel over sideways for little rest on carpet.

"Gentleman, the last two times you sent someone to dispatch the Magisterium, you did your usual bleeding-heart criminal thing. 'Oooh hark at us we're tough guys too'... 'come and have a go if you think you're butch enough Kenneth'... 'what about some compassion for the Family business'... it didn't work so well did it?"

I burble in agreement. Signor Davey is looking confused, or angry, or both.

"And did you see what happened there just now. Signor Liberali, thought he might get a little too close to me and disrespect me. Didn't you Signor" he stay demurely as he kick me in kidneys.

I choke an affirmative.

"That is also a mistake I intend to let Signor Livingstone make... You may not like my methods, they may even cause you pain sometimes," it seems my hand get in way of his foot as he pace around, and I can only concur... "but I'm here to do a job. And if making the Family uncomfortable helps me do it, that is what I'm going to do."

"So Signor Davey did you have any more questions or would you like to kindly fuck off so I can get on with organising this embarrassing amateur shambles you call a caporegime."

I really not sure I see Signor Davey turn that colour before, but he help me to my feet and we find urgent need to be elsewhere.

"I think I rather like him" I say "He remind me of Don Ashdown."

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