Tuesday, 26 June 2007

The Pinstriped Assassin

So I'm sitting out on the piazza in downtown Millbank enjoying vino with Signor Gove of the Conservatori, and I say to him "So Gove you pretty smug now I think, you think new Don Brown is weak and maybe 'Hollywood' Cameron can move in on his turf."

And he say to me "Liberali, it only matter of time. The associates in Little England, they grow tired of the Labouristi and their demands for protection payments. We are reasonable men, we offer same level of protection, but for lower payments. Provided the businesses keep thriving, it no problem, we call it the threat dividend."

At that moment something funny happen, From Westminster we see Don Cameron's chauffer-driven convertible pull out of the Parliament speak-easy and come towards Millbank. From the river we see the immaculately pinstriped form of Conservatori Capo Quentin Davies strolling towards the road swinging his Mapin & Webb umbrella.

This is odd I think it no raining. I why I see Don Brown's blacked out limo parked near the bridge.

Don Cameron see Signor Davies and gives him his famous windmill wave. Suddenly Davies leap into the road and thrust his brolly towards the Don, screaming "Die, you vacuous Euro-hating, celebrity-loving, flip-flopping, puffball".

It a lot of words. Maybe a shorter speech and his brolly not end up embedded in the folding bicycle rusting in the other passenger seat. Everyone so shocked they not know what to do, giving Signor Davies time to run to the river and leap into waiting car that speed off towards Queen Street.

"Nice brolly" I say to Signor Gove. He seem strangely quiet with twitchy left-eye. Maybe vino no good.

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