Don Campbell issue apology to paparazzi today.
"When today I referred to the emerging economic superpowers of China and Italy, I did of course intend to say Calabria and Sicily. That's what comes of spending all morning talking to Signor Foster about bloody tourism, rather than thinking about Family business."
Signor Davey added:
"Anyone can make a mistake, Don Campbell though is safely entrenched in our London Territories, tittle-tattle that he about to be sent to sticks in Jockland entirely idle speculation."
Signor Cable also commented:
"Further the Don did not intend to say that he wants the Family to 'hammer the rich'. That would be barbaric. We find a good slapping with glove usually sufficient to get the fat-cat wimps to open their wallets."
"I also need to add" say Don Campbell "that when I was reported to have said I'm a failure earlier today, the report missed the end of that sentence which added in the eyes of treacherous ungrateful vicious old whiners like former Capo Rodgers, who simply bitter that Don Brown only interested in talking to former colleagues Williams and Owen when seeking advice for Labouristi big tent. Phewee what a bitter anonymous miseryguts, who cares what he thinks."
"I am not a soundbite-era Don, so I can quite understand how that nuanced position might have been missed by lazy useless paparazzi swine."
Signor Davey further added:
"When I referred to Jockland as 'the sticks', I was of course misquoted, for which I apologise. I did of course intend to say, 'welfare dependent backwater full of disloyal ginger old lags who should know better than break omertà after after night on the tiles'."