Letter to Committee for Diary-Control

I been at special meeting with Don Campbell tonight. This present conflict with other important meeting, which big nuisance. Happily I make arrangements before I leave for Brighton and send letter via special courier...

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Dear Committee for Diary-Control,

It is with regret I inform you I cannot be with you in person at Grand Awards Ceremony of Liberali Family Association of Tittle-tattlers, Scandalmongers and Egomaniacs.

I instead busy with Don Campbell and team tonight, learning about important items on Family Conference Agenda. I very impressed by pending discussions on encouraging bullying, pulling teeth, building more slums, and making prison more bearable for men of honour by putting less women inside.

We sure are most progressive Family in United Territories.

I would though like to thank the Committee for short-listing me for this special-needs monitoring award. I particularly grateful to last year overall winner, ‘Shorty’ Tall for making it clear to me that all that required to win is the provision of donation, to Hornsey Green Intimidation Fund.

“A ‘pony’ should be enough” he say

I simple man and no understand why Signora Featherstone need pony, but figure Cowley Print-works not miss one of old delivery-nags, so go one better and procure reliable work horse, from Signor Rennard. Seem he wear them out quick these days.

Big problem though how to get horse to Brighton in time for ceremony.

Fortunately my friend Signor Opik have solution. He coming to Brighton by helicopter this year and can carry horse in harness.

He say “So long I as I don’t get distracted by pretty Romanian co-pilots and let the horse go wondering near the rotor blades we’re in good shape. You can trust me Liberali”

So I hope the little horse, I call her Galloping Lamido, find you well and we still good for award.

Cordiale Saluti,

Don Liberali

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Signor Opik assure me all go according to plan, so I looking forward to meeting with 'Shorty', 'Nogeek', and 'the Aggregator', behind Grand Hotel at midnight where they say they going to give me special thank-you for package.

Signor Opik oddly no want cut for delivery, and had to run very fast to get to his next appointment. He great guy and very fit, no wonder he knockout with all ladies in Liberali youth.